Losing Yourself 

“The worst feeling is the moment that you realize you’ve lost yourself.” Elena Gilbert

The struggle of losing yourself is real and painful. No one knows what you lost but you. You lost yourself and you can’t find it.

Part of you isn’t the same anymore. You’re lonely when you’re surrounded with people. You’re smiling but you’re crying from the inside, calm but exploding, happy but depressed. 

You’re forcing yourself to sleep, eat, and to even breath. You lay in bed with a broken heart and a broken smile, you don’t even know why. Why is this happening to me, why am I not happy?! 

You start asking yourself simple questions but you can’t find the answer

 “Who am I?” And “What do I want?”

You cry because you think you’re not enough and you don’t fit in. You’re lost and you can’t do anything about it. You cry because you’re stuck between your own reality and also your own imagination.

It gets worse when you start hating yourself, hating who you’ve become, hating the place you’re in, hating the people you’re with. You cant focus, you cant think, you cant concentrate because you’re lost by your own ideas, expectations, reality, dreams, goals, judgments, emotions ( its a non-ending cycle). 

You’re mentally hurt but you cant tell anyone because you fear that they won’t understand and they’ll start judging you. So you are all alone battling and suffering from the inside and faking a smile from the outside. All of a sudden you stop trying and you start losing hope in finding who you are again.

Losing yourself is traumatizing and extremely depressing because once you’ve lost yourself, you have two options: you either find it along the way or you become a totally new different person. It all goes back to you, no one can help you but yourself. 

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